aliaras: (Default)
[personal profile] aliaras
It occurred to me while walking home today that a lot of the things that women find objectionable about the behaviors and complaints of self-identified Nice Guys are the same things that men stereotypically find objectionable about women.

"I've always been there for her! But she never notices me! When will she see what's right under her nose?" is pretty much the same thing as when a woman expects a man to read her subtle signals of interest, and then is peeved that he never notices her lingering 0.5s longer than usual when telling him goodbye. I can't speak for whether or not this actually occurs, but it's a complaint I've heard multiple times. It's also the same principle as, say, rearranging your fridge and expecting your roommate to understand that you want her to wash the dishes, except so much higher-stakes.

Obsessing about how much he loves her: Extreme clingyness is equally frightening in both genders, but tends to be thought of as a thing women do. It's not just them.

Relatedly, the idea of a high-maintenance girlfriend. Again, terminal insecurity goes both ways, and a high-maintenance boyfriend is just as bad. If the slightest thing hurts him, it's easiest to just stop dealing with that and move on to some other, less high-maintenance boyfriend.

That's all I've got for now, and it's deliberately written to focus only on behaviors, not beliefs or misogyny. I might be talking about a strawman here, but I don't think so. Also, I realize that this focuses entirely on heterosexual people; as far as I know, the queer community isn't afflicted with a plague of neckbeards.
From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Profile

aliaras: (Default)
aliaras

July 2011

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627 282930
31      

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 29th, 2017 11:42 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios